Why are some things so hard to let go of and others so easy. Whether its due to a sentimental attachment, perceived value not wanting to be lost, guilt from obligation felt from a gift received, or thoughts that one day that item may be useful and needed. I have been purging lately. Purging old keepsakes from my past. Purging craft items I know I will never actually use (who really needs 50 zippers in various sizes and colors??). Purging clothes from times in my life when I was skinnier, or pregnant, or that I simply do not like any more. But some things I’ve held on to longer than others, through several waves of purging, and I’m finally ready to let go.

I dreamed of a big beautiful wedding with the most gorgeous dress and at the time I found everything I was looking for. It was a strapless, form fitting, mermaid, covered in soft ruffles, in a pale color of pink with a black ribbon at the waist. The model looked like everything I wanted to be; elegant, stylish, unique, beautiful. And I wanted to feel all those things on my wedding day. Plans changed however and we realized that the people we cared about the most were not enough to fill a space for a big grand wedding, we didn’t really have the budget for it nor did we want to devote that much money to just one day, and traveling for extended family would be difficult and hard to coordinate with everyones schedules. So rather than waiting another year for a wedding, we decided to elope last minute and suddenly my beautiful dress was way too pretty and too fragile to be worn at our new outside location and another simpler dress had to be found. We told ourselves we could always have a vow renewal in a few years, 5 at the most, and make it a big party for friends and family and I could wear my gown then. But a surprise pregnancy happened, life got in the way, and 10 years later I’m still holding on to a dress I’ve never worn. As I look at it now it symbolizes a girl I once was, or at least once wanted to be, but is someone I no longer recognize or envision becoming.

Shedding of old dreams can be difficult but true growth cannot happen without first letting go. I’m ready to lighten the load. To look forward to the future rather than look back at the past. To embrace the life in front of me that resonates most with the pull in my heart, and to let go of everything that doesn’t serve me.

What are you holding on in your life? What are you refusing to let go of that’s weighing you down? What’s stopping you from letting it go? If not now, when?